Specialized Parenting Programs

We consulted with two women in their late twenties who recently got married after having lived together for the past three years. They hope to have a child together. Both work in the medical field so the idea of insemination doesn’t worry them. However, they had not really thought at all about the implications for a child of being conceived through the sperm of someone who is not raising the child. They had thought about asking a male friend if he would… [CONTINUED] provide them with sperm but none of the three thought about anything other than the mechanics of becoming pregnant. We raised questions such as, ‘How do you intend to tell your child that a third person [a man] was part of the conception? Do you and the man intend to have any kind of relationship going forward? Do you intend to stay in touch? What if you do not do that and the child later wishes to meet his or her biological ‘father’ or donor? Does the man wish to be part of the child’s life in any way? Might he be considered a special friend? What involvement does he want with the child or with you?” As of now, the women have recognized the importance of these questions and once they are ready to seriously think about parenting are committed to entering into a process with one of the social workers at M & T to thoroughly review the issues. They are committed to finding a man who also recognizes that this is not ‘just’ the donation of some biological material but something that will impact the lives of himself, the two women and the child who may be created.