Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Neonatal Losses are devastating for parents and their families. The estimated figure is that miscarriage happens in around 1 in 4 recognized pregnancies, with 85% of those happening in the first trimester. 15% of miscarriages occur in the second trimester up to 20 weeks gestation. Once the fetus / pregnancy has reached 20 weeks, the loss is considered a stillbirth.
About one in 125 pregnancies end in a stillbirth.
The neonatal mortality rate is 3.4 neonatal deaths per 1000 live births. The term ‘neonatal loss’ describes the death of a child from birth to 12 months of age.
Although these figures may be statistics, they are not statistics when you are the one who has suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss. This is your life, your baby and your profound loss. Statistics become meaningless when the loss is experienced through your personal lens.
Pregnancy loss is generally unanticipated in a first pregnancy. However, after one loss, most expectant parents are fearful during a second or subsequent pregnancy and are not able to fully ‘enjoy’ the pregnancy at least until the new pregnancy has advanced further than the one that was lost.
The rate of miscarriage is not new. In today’s world, however, many share the news of a pregnancy widely and early—with family, friends and on social media. Gender reveal parties are also popular. In years past, mindful of early miscarriage, news of a pregnancy was often not shared until the milestone of 12 weeks had passed.
Many pregnancy losses, including miscarriage, stillbirth and even neonatal death are still not recognized in our society. When friends of family say things like: ‘it’s for the best’; or ‘you can always get pregnant again’, or ‘it was God’s will’, your profound loss [and you] are not recognized or deemed legitimate and you are left to mourn on your own without any support or even kindness.
When a child dies from SIDS [Sudden Infant Death Syndrome] or from a recognized medical condition, parents are overcome with loss, grief, despair and sometimes feel that they cannot go on without the child they so wanted and so loved. Each person’s loss is his or her own; it is not necessary to compare losses; each person and each parent mourns differently. There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to mourn. Your experience is your own.
We, at Milestones & Transitions, understand how necessary it is for you to mourn your loss because only through this grieving process will you be able to move forward.
Grieving process is a healthy process; it is your pathway to the future. You will not forget the child you bore and loved; one of our goals will be to help you incorporate your child into your heart and into your life.
We have experience and expertise in working with those who have suffered these profound losses. We are here to listen [truly listen], recognize and support you through your shock, disbelief, anger and sadness.
Contact us for an initial 20 minute complimentary consult. There is no ‘schedule’ or fixed format for our work together. We may meet on one or two occasions; we may meet for 6 or 8 sessions or we may meet for more.
Many employee benefit plans and extended health care plans cover, in part, the fees of a Registered Social Worker.
We are here to walk this journey with you.
Written by: Michaele-Sue Goldblatt, MSW,RSW
May 21, 2020