{"id":464,"date":"2018-11-06T11:59:29","date_gmt":"2018-11-06T16:59:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/milestonesandtransitions.com\/?p=464"},"modified":"2018-11-05T12:26:29","modified_gmt":"2018-11-05T17:26:29","slug":"tips-talking-child-adoption","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/milestonesandtransitions.com\/tips-talking-child-adoption\/","title":{"rendered":"Tips for Talking with Your Child About Adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Start early<\/strong>.\u00a0 Start right away, even if your child doesn\u2019t yet understand what you are saying. It is good practice for you.<\/li>\n
  2. Be honest<\/strong>.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know the answer, say so.\u00a0 Show that you share your child\u2019s curiosity and that you would like to know, too.<\/li>\n
  3. Answer the questions your child asks<\/strong>.\u00a0 If you are not sure what the question really is, ask him\/her what s\/he means.<\/li>\n
  4. Once is not enough<\/strong>. Your child\u2019s understanding of adoption will develop as s\/he grows up and so be prepared to discuss it often.<\/li>\n
  5. Use positive adoption language<\/strong>.\u00a0 Examples:\u00a0 birth parent or first parent (not \u2018real parent\u2019), placed for adoption, made an adoption plan, made poor lifestyle choices, had difficulty parenting.<\/li>\n
  6. Don\u2019t wait for your child to ask<\/strong>.\u00a0 If your child somehow feels this is a difficult or awkward subject for you, s\/he may avoid asking questions.<\/li>\n
  7. Look for opportunities to build adoption into your conversation<\/strong>. If adoption is in the news, this is a good opportunity to ask your child what s\/he thinks about what was said.\u00a0 Or does s\/he think it is an accurate report?\u00a0 Or if someone asks you about adoption, you can share this later with your child and ask what would s\/he say?<\/li>\n
  8. Make adoption a normal, natural part of your family discussions.\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong>Pestering your child by only asking questions will likely not be well received.\u00a0 Open the topic with comments like \u201cI was thinking about your birth mom today\u2026\u2026I was wondering if you wonder about her\u2026\u201d\u00a0 or \u201cI was wondering what kinds of questions you get from your friends about adoption\u2026\u201d or \u201cI heard a comment today about adoption. Someone said \u201c\u2026\u2026..\u201d. What do you think about that?\u201d<\/li>\n
  9. Check your child\u2019s understanding<\/strong>. Don\u2019t assume that he understands everything.\u00a0 Discussions about what someone said to you or your child, or what questions he gets from friends, etc., can help to open up the topic to see how he responds.<\/li>\n
  10. Acknowledge and accept your child\u2019s feelings.\u00a0 Listen for the feelings behind your child\u2019s comments<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 He may be sad or angry and grieving his birth family. Talking about them can help. Your child may be longing for information and may ask when he can meet them.\u00a0 Let him\/her know you are open to talking about this, you share his\/her curiosity, and understand his\/her need to know a part of his normal identity development.<\/li>\n
  11. Prepare a Lifebook of photos and your child\u2019s adoption story<\/strong>.\u00a0 Be sure to include birth family information, foster family, orphanage, etc. as applicable.\u00a0 Include photos of birth family if available.<\/li>\n
  12. Reach out to others<\/strong>.\u00a0 Join a support group. Talk to other adoptive parents, share and learn from them.\u00a0 Consult an adoption professional if you feel the need.\u00a0 If you are troubled by some of the issues you face as an adoptive parent, reach out.\u00a0 Others can help you work through these issues so that you can be comfortable in talking with your child about adoption. Make sure your child gets to know other adopted children.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    — Patricia Fenton,<\/strong>\u00a0MSW RSW<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Start early.\u00a0 Start right away, even if your child doesn\u2019t yet understand what you are saying. It is good practice for you. Be honest.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know the answer, say so.\u00a0 Show that you share your child\u2019s curiosity and that you would like to know, too. Answer the questions your child asks.\u00a0 If you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":465,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nTips for Talking with Your Child About Adoption - Milestones and Transitions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/milestonesandtransitions.com\/tips-talking-child-adoption\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tips for Talking with Your Child About Adoption - Milestones and Transitions\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Start early.\u00a0 Start right away, even if your child doesn\u2019t yet understand what you are saying. It is good practice for you. 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