https:\/\/www.theglobeandmail.com\/life\/first-person\/article-what-not-to-say-to-someone-who-has-cancer-and-more-of-our-most\/<\/a>] and for her book \u201cHolding On To The Normal\u201d.\u00a0 Definitely worth while in preparation for a visit to a person diagnosed with cancer.<\/p>\nSeveral decades ago, when I was a social work intern at The Victoria General Hospital in Halifax, I was asked to meet with an 18 year young man who had been recently diagnosed with acute leukemia and with his family. The service being requested was to take a social history of the patient and family and, since the family lived quite a distance from Halifax, to explore any connections with relatives or friends living in the Halifax area who may have been able to offer support to the patient at this time. Having no idea how to relate to the patient and family and being so overwhelmed with the sadness of the situation, I entered the hospital room and made eye contact with the young man, his parents and his sister. No words would come to me. Speechless, I broke in to tears and left the room.<\/p>\n
Just a few years ago, I had an opportunity to talk and walk with a friend who was near the terminal stage of breast cancer.\u00a0 I had travelled from Toronto to London, Ontario, was told that my friend was\u201d having a good day\u201d and was standing outside her hospital room, wondering what in the world to say and indulging in the \u201cno no\u201d question, \u201dWhy her?\u201d.\u00a0 Since her two lovely\u00a0daughters were young children she, as a single parent, had raised them well, had willingly taken the role of her mother\u2019s primary caregiver and had made significant contributions to her profession. She had recently married a wonderful man and now it would be \u2018her time\u2019 – well earned and well deserved.\u00a0 In the midst of this, I heard a voice-her voice. \u201c BA come in here – isn\u2019t this the pits\u201d.\u00a0 There she was, as always, strong for others.\u00a0 I was given the wisdom to say nothing-just to listen.\u00a0 She told me that she wanted to go home to die – and that that wish had been granted to her. Her family would be there as they could. We talked about our friendship – how we had been thrown together as the wives of university professors, now lifelong best friends.\u00a0 And how, through the few short years we had known each other, we had come to recognize and appreciate what a gift our husbands had given us. Recognizing and sharing our mutual admiration enabled us to share our mutual pain at separation. The gift and the loss- we acknowledged and shared both. It was an intimate and grateful farewell.<\/p>\n
May I, as a person who has herself been diagnosed and treated for breast cancer, share what I have learned about talking and walking with a friend who has cancer?<\/p>\n
Receiving a diagnosis and being treated for cancer requires a lot of courage.\u00a0 The cancer journey calls up one\u2019s humanity and mortality and suggests the possibility of pain in any area of our earthly experience.
\nIn order to really connect with a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer you need to have the courage to contemplate that journey.\u00a0 Listening may be the first skill required to gain an understanding of how your friend is experiencing the journey.\u00a0 Let yourself feel with your friend, not sorry for your friend.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t forget that the cancer patient is the same unique person with many of the same interests and concerns as before the cancer diagnosis.\u00a0 Maybe your friend has even learned something along the journey which he wishes to share with you.\u00a0 Listen so you don\u2019t miss anything.\u00a0\u00a0The journey also summons hope, appreciation and gratitude for each day of health.<\/p>\n
All of the above is received and experienced with abundant faith and hope.\u00a0 Treatment methods are continuously improving and are administered by professionals who are truly dedicated and committed to their patient\u2019s health and wellbeing.\u00a0 The statistics are very significantly improving.\u00a0 As the Honorable Jack Layton wrote in his farewell letter \u201c … there is no better time and place to have cancer.\u201d<\/p>\n
In my experience, too, given the many advances in cancer diagnosis, treatment and prognosis, the outcome for the individuals discussed above, may have been different and their lives may have been extended.<\/p>\n
Thank you for your concern and courage.<\/p>\n
Betty Ann Streeter, MSW, RSW<\/h6>\nPatient Teacher, St. Michael\u2019s Hospital, Toronto, ON, Canada<\/h6>\nAugust 17th, 2018<\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Talking and walking with a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer from the perspective of a person who has been diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. Thanks to Alana Somervile for her article \u201dWhat Not To Say to A Cancer Patient\u201d as printed in the Globe and Mail on August 5, 2018 [https:\/\/www.theglobeandmail.com\/life\/first-person\/article-what-not-to-say-to-someone-who-has-cancer-and-more-of-our-most\/] and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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